dancing cow

This is a video i took of the cow on anju's table.Its dancing!!But at times it looks like its having the fits or some sort of demon possession!

I have a lot of free time on my hands now and i dont feel like doing anything useful!!

either gay or married

I have to write this!i do not want anyone asking me anything but i have to say what's on my mind!!

Why is it that anyone i really like is ,well ,unavailable?Take my first love,Stephen gately..ok so he's a celebrity and all but i was young and i really really liked him.And i was quite stupid then(i was young remember) and thought one day he would come for me.I also had this another stupid crush on someone in school(i forgot who it was!) but then found out he liked someone else and i was not upset cos i knew i have Steve and he would come for me(i think i read too many corny love stories back then).But Steve had to have gone and spoilt it all by coming out!"I'm gay and in love"....ahhhhh!!!How those words hurt me then.It was june 16 1999 when he came out but i knew only on june 17 1999(rashmi's birthday).I think i cried for like 3 days and i tore up some of his posters.I was a little crazy then.Then i went to another extreme and started liking Steve's then boyfriend Eloy de jong as well!And i was very happy for them as a couple and was quite upset when they broke up.After a while i just stopped caring for Steve and his gay life!I do like him cos he was after all my first true love and he is after all VERY hot!And for anyone who cares,he's "married" his partner Andy cowles.

Well i never REALLY liked anyone after that but had the random crushes like everyone else..But there was someone i liked.I'm NOT saying who!I don't even know why i liked him but i did.You do not know who he is so please don't ask me.Well i found out today that he's married!!It was quite a shock and im a bit sad.Waaahh! And he didnt even tell me that he's married i found out through someone else. Life can sometime be really mean!

And that saying,"they're either gay or married".....well it is SO true!Trust me on this one!

shattered

Imagine you're planning this picnic or a trip.You've decided the dates.You've got your tickets.You have your perfect outfit for it.And you can't wait.But then you just have one tiny problem...you haven't asked your parents!I know that sounds childish,asking your parents permission and all.But imagine you're still living with them and depend on them.So finally you ask your parents and they say no.Point blank.End of story.
Its a horrible feeling.That's how i feel now.Well i wasn't planning a trip or anything but something similar.
I always thought i'd let my parents choose my every step and it would be the best.And you know what that thought is starting to come back but i feel miserable.
I thought for once i could do something for me,something that i want to but guess that's not what's in store for me.
Parents know best.I've heard that enough times now,i guess i should just go ahead and beleive it.And that way i don't have to think for myself.Easy.
Waaaah!!!
I'm in quite a depressed mood now so excuse my sorry post.

the perfect man (part 2)

Here's part 2 of the not so awaited sequel of the perfect man.

So Nathan leaves town and Steph G goes home.It shouldn't be a problem.It'll be fine.So what we don't live near each other.This is what steph g thought.
And it wasn't really a problem,they spoke to each other,they sent text messages to each other and there always yahoo messanger!
Meanwhile Steph G met another guy who was really nice but Steph G is a one man women so she considered this other guy as nothing more than a friend cause she had Nate and he was her mr.perfect.
So what this other guy lives near by,he's sweet,funny and all..no,it doesn't matter.He was not Nathan.
But then,Nathan stopped calling,he texted her like once in a technicolored moon.Apparantly he was "too busy".
And Steph G made it very clear to the other guy she was not interested so now there was no Nate and no other guy.
Steph G had learn her story.
There was no mr.perfect.He does not exist in the real world.
Steph G has something to say:

"All you ladies listen if you ever have the chance to run into your definition of that perfect man,please be blinded by how fine the man is and miss the chance that you might have or you'll never get to be with any other man".

This is a slight modification of the Destiny's child song "perfect man" which says:

"All you ladies listening if you ever have the chance To run into your definition of that perfect man Don't be blinded by how fine the man is And miss the chance that might be your last Make him understand that he's your perfect man"

Steph G and her friends used to beleive in that song when they were young but now that she lost someone that could have been the one because she was running after the perfect man,she doesn't have anyone now!
So listen up and learn from her!

college over!

I cannot believe this day would come so soon!Ever since we joined college me and my friends used to talk about how we couldnt wait to leave and now that we've left i can't beleive how hard it is to say goodbye.

On may 11th our final year final semester exams got over and it didn't really sink in at first but then my all my friends except Nive,Muneera and Narkis came to stay over and i actually stayed awake and it was so sad...we might never see each other again!Then the next day we stayed over in Nive's and i left that night but heard there were a LOT of tears the next morning.And i was in church that morning and we were singing and i was thinking about all of us and i started crying..if people saw me they probably thought i was so into worship that i'm crying!

...as we go on,we remember all the times we had together...and as our lives changes...we will still be friends forever... amen!

I'm going to really miss you guys!

the perfect man(part1)

I just realized something...people are more interested in Steph G than they are about me.It is rather sad.

Anyway Steph G has another story(ooh joy!!)but this is a moral story so im sure all my immoral friends out there(like all of you!)would'nt like it.But sit back,you might learn a thing or two.

Two years ago Steph G's grandmother was really sick and was in the hospital for around two months.It was a really tough time for the entire G family as they didnt know if they would see their mother/grandmother ever again.Steph G being a dutiful granddaughter spent a lot of time in the hospital.There,she met this guy called Nathan whose grandmother was also sick!While waiting in the waiting room,they both started talking(he started) and since they both were going through the same thing,they comforted each other.

Steph G then realised there was no point thinking about Ben De Jong well cause he was fictional after all!

And Nathan seemed perfect in every way!Maybe he was her Ben de jong!so what he was not dutch,so what he did'nt have blue eyes?He was still the perfect guy in every other way!

After sometime,Steph G's grandmother got better and so did Nathan's.And they had to leave the hospital.Sadly,Nathan did not live in the same city as where Steph G lived.But Steph G did not think that would be a problem.

[end of part 1]

goodbye crescent

****This post is boring but its for my memories so one day when i have alzheimers(whats the spelling again?) i can read through this,that is if i remember my user name and password****

I've got exactly 8 days till i finsih college.This is the day i've been waiting for ever since i joined college and i still remember all of us saying oh we cant wait for these 4 years to get over and now that it is,it doesnt seem like such a big deal.I've probably had more bad times than good times in college(exams twice a year is BAD) but now i'm just thinking of all the good times we had and hostel and how i think i actually might miss crescent quite a bit!i'm gonna miss "us" for sure.Half or more than half of us have different "us"es now(the whole marriage and engaged thing).

Joining crescent seems like it just happened and yet it feels like a lifetime.I'll still remember the first time we went to meet shameem banu and i came home crying cos she made hostel look worse than the taliban.The time i came to write the entrance exam with my dad and after i finished the exam and we got ready to leave my dad said,"take a good look at this college cos this is the last time you'll be seeing it". and when i was checking out a bunch of hot guys(where did they gO??cause after i did join i never found them!) my dad said,"they have boys in NI (noorul islam,where everyone including me thought i would join) too!"*cringe*

Well my dad was wrong cos i did join Crescent,well now its B.S.Abdur Rahman Crescent engineering college but crescent sounds better.And i remember day one so well cos i hated it.The only thing that kept me on was hostel cos i loved my friends there!I'm gonna miss you guys so much.But hostel got annoying in the second year with the never ending rules and blah blahs and i left hostel on the day of impulse '05.I'm glad i did.I have good memories of hostel now,dont know if i still would if i continued staying there.

The best semester:1st

The worst semester:3rd and 4th and 8th

8th semester!project!Oh no!that was the most depressing time ever!im so so glad thats over!thank GOD!

There's so much i want to write about hostel and college.I'll do it someday.

Good bye Crescent!

steph G's one true love

As some of may know,Steph G has not exactly been very lucky in love.It could be because of many different reasons..like weird creepy boys from the past,weird clingy girls from the past,someone not meeting all her 101 criteria,phobia of commitment etc etc.But there is one big reason why...Steph G is still waiting for the man of her dreams.And i mean that literally.When Steph G was young(she is still young though) she had dreams of this one guy.The same guy.Recurring dreams.He was perfect.She didnt really get to see what he looked like in her dreams but Steph G was sure he was gorgeous(come on,all dream guys are hot!).Steph knew one thing..his name..and it was Ben de jong.He was dutch.So while Steph G spent ages of her youth dreaming of Ben,she wrote this poem for him:
Hoping and praying we'd be together someday,
Please Ben,please come my way.
These dreams don't seem to stop,do they?
But i know this is real and not a play.
A part of me has a feeling that you
Feel the same way too.
If the Lord above wishes,
Together forever is what it is.
I don't know Ben,i'm confused,
But i know no one is to be accused
For who and what you are is inside my mind,
I wish i could leave my dreams behind.
I'm a little pebble lost at sea
Pick me up,Ben,let me be
With you life goes beyond,
And i think i love you Ben de jong.

if you think this is corny,remember something,Steph was really young when she wrote this.
And if you think you or someone you know could be Ben de jong,get back..i'll let her know.

valentines day blues!

Its V-day tomorrow!And Steph G can't help but think of all the lovers out there planning their special day together.But there's also this nagging thought that screams "WHAT ABOUT ME???"When Steph G was younger she used to celebrate valentines day with her friends,get them cards and all that.And the first time "a boy" gave her a flower,she was so embarrased..she stuffed it into her bag and later tore it and threw it out.Yes,she was a disturbed child who found attention rather over whelming(I bet you all are thinking,"that poor rose!").But she was young then and young girls are quite stupid at times.Things dont change much when they grow up!
Ok,back to tomorrow..Steph G actually has two valentines!Technically that's true cause 2 guys have asked her and she,uh..said yes...to both!But that's only because she's a good person and she cannot bear to hurt someone's feelings.And they're both good guys..but there's the problem of choosing!One of them is a really sweet guy who'll be the perfect boyfriend.The other,a wild guy who knows to have fun.Steph G is torn.She can't make up her mind.And it always ends up with the same question,"WHY ME?"...
p.s :Any suggestion as to whom Steph G should choose?

steph G is not my alter ego

This is to let all of you know that steph G is not me.She is not "an imaginary clone" as someone put it.I'm sure some of you think it's me cause i mentioned she has an older sister but please..there are millions of girls out there who have bigger sisters.I would like to mention however that Steph G is a combination of many many people i know.So that's why i said stories involving her are "quite" fictional.
Before i started blogging about Steph Girl i had so many stories but now i'm quite blank.But dont worry,she's quite a handful so i'll have plenty of stories coming up.Or so i wish.

Evolution of steph G

This is the story of a girl called Steph Girl aka Steph G.She's just a piece of my imagination.Any story or incident involving her is quite fictional.So if you have a feeling of deja vu reading anything about steph G,please,its not about you,its about steph G.
Steph G is a nice girl.She has her own hang ups like everyone else.She can be a bit wacky at times but then again,who is'nt?Steph G has an elder sister who used to be steph g's biggest nightmare when she was growing up.Which bigger sister isn't,yeah?
I'll start the chronicles of steph G in my next blog..!i know you all are an impatient lot but "patience,iago" as steph G would say.

the grass is greener on the other side

project time in college.i always thought "project" in the final semester would be a blast!after all there's only 2 days of college and even that's only half day each.well this is what i THOUGHT!you know being a junior,watching all those final year students leave class you think man,i cant wait for that...now that i am in the final semester,man don't i miss sitting in class doing nothing!I'm doing my project under one of those strict guides who expect you to learn,research and then do it...well who would have thought about all this,yeah?I know this is probably the best way but im such a lazy thing,i prefer the easy way out...you know going to some institute,getting someone to help you through and through and of coarse paying them...:)
Ok i dont want to talk about the project anymore.even thought its going to drain all my happiness,all the life in me and make me a dull grave person..its ok..only 4 more months..and after all,at the end of the day,God is in control!

i'm not ashamed!

This morning i was just thinking how i am usually ashamed to proclaim my faith,my God etc and how most other people have no problem with that.most people of other faiths openly say that only their way is right and the others are wrong.So i was wondering why should i be ashamed to say JESUS is my LORD?when i know thats the truth,why should i feel bad about shouting it aloud?who am i scared of?what people will think about me?So today in church all these thoughts were going thro my head and i'm like i'm going to make a start starting with my blog cos ahem,not many people really read it.And i thought i'll start with a poem i once wrote.I hope it doesnt hurt anyone and if it does,hey,the truth hurts!!Ok,here goes:
I have a dream,a distant vision.
Right now it seems impossible,
Like it could never be seen.
With Your grace,i pray,
Please hear what i have to say.
In my dream,there I stand,
Not alone but in a big band.
Who's in it?I daresay..
My sisters and brothers from ****(bonded) jail!!
With torn veils and bonds free,
We sing,"Jesus, we worship Thee".
Our faces are happy,our burdens light,
We plead,"Jesus,bring us into Thine sight".
Have mercy Lord,don't show us Your wrath,
We're really sorry for choosing the wrong path.
Jesus is forgiving and merciful,
If you ever leave Him,then you'd be a fool.
Christianity is about love,forgiveness and its fun!
Come,let's follow God's only Son!
I see all of us are on our knees
And its quite clear the past has deceased.
I can hear us cry,"Thank You for saving us,
YOU're our God,our Savior,my Jesus.
You died and gave us right to call You mine,
You're mercy and love is forever divine".
Now i come back crashing to reality
knowing my prayers will be answered when Jesus says"it shall be".

i wrote this on 03.august.2005... this is my poem,my thought,my dreams.

and well after service today,Billy yesudian sang a song that said Im not ashamed,i will proclaim Jesus Christ is Lord of my life.It just made so much sense as to what i was thinking about.

i wish!

I was just thinking of things that i could only wish were true:
1.Me in a clothes store,asking a sales girl,"would you by chance have this in a size 2"?
2.Anna university declares they are no longer going to conduct exams and are going to rate the students based on their high school perfomance.
3."oh,i'm sorry dahling but i'm busy tomorrow night,dolce would be very upset if i dont make it to the paris show".
4.I wake up every morning and i don't see the world blurry.
5."Yes,i do love what i'm learning about in college,it's truly my passion in life".
6.Simba is not my dog,he's my baby lion/tiger cub.
7.age/sex/location:Ireland.(it would'nt hurt if stephen G is my neighbour).
8.I hate chocolates/cakes/and everything un healthy...
9.the world is so peaceful,it gets boring.
10.....i cant mention this one here,might hurt a few people...sorry.

my life

The day before my exams got over,i was listening to some music..something i dont normally do while having exams.I was listening to the song "Before the throne of God above"written by Charitie Lees Smith Bancroft in 1863.This is one of my favourite Chrsitian songs.And i was listening to the last stanza and i felt like it reflected my whole life,what's going to happen,what has already been done and my present.It made so much sense,i thought i'll let others know as well!!
This is the entire song:

Before the throne of God aboveI have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He standsNo tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despairAnd tells me of the guilt within,Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died,My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfiedTo look on Him and pardon me.
Behold Him there the risen Lamb,My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.---> my future.
My soul is purchased by His blood,--->already paid for.
My life is hid with Christ on high,With Christ my Savior and my God!--->my life,as of now.

yucksams over!!

My exams are over!!yayyyyy...my exams are over....!!!i could go on!
To me,exams are like the dementors in the harry potter books,they suck the life and all the happiness out of you.I really am not exaggerating!ask any of my friends.Im sure they'll all agree.And being under AU and having to major in ECE doesnt help one bit either.
Im so glad they're over and i really thank God for helping me retain my sanity.It was on the verge of falling off!!
I'm still all stressed out thinking about my project work and all but i guess i should learn to take things one day at a time.

weird english

ok im just sitting here wondering what to write..im in my hometown right now and the weather is so gorgeous..have you noticed how we say "oh the weather is so gorgeous","this cake is so beautiful","ooh youre looking hot/spicy/delicious"...i dont know,i was just thinking how weird the english we speak has become.i think most of the people i know make so many bloopers while talking i should have a posting just for that..like the other day instead of saying the fish is kept frozen in the fridge ms.G said the fish is kept in the frozen fridge.and i was telling my sister about my childhood dream of becoming a pilot and she said when you ply a flane instead of fly a plane..well this is all i can think of now..will keep you posted tho!

the new van gogh

today i realized my inner self,my true spirit..i am an artiste!van gogh,you have competition!ok so thats a little too much exaggeration but i,after 15 years took out my drawing book and i painted!its so gorgeous!its abstract so dont ask what it is.i should start my career as an artist.i can see it...gi2 s's exhibition of abstract paintings in new york's art museum...or i should sit by the eiffel tower and draw an abstract version of tour de eiffel!i uh,tend to get carried away...heheh..

me

ok im right now being told to say something about myself in my brand new shiny blog!well..im bad at introductions....its like writing the about me part in orkut or your personal profile in a resume!well im 20 years young(boo hoo!),im indian(jai hind),im christian(praise the Lord!),and im studying the most boring subjects known to man in uni(boo hoo again!!).i uh,like reading,i like watching movies.the kind of books and movies i read are girly and fun(like yours truly!).well i am actually quite boring but im girly alright.i like pink(yes boongi,PINK!) and purple and black and all the beautiful bright colors!im like a technicolor black person!*such a dazzling coat of many colors,how i love my coat of many colors*.my childhood sorry teenhood or teen years or whatever that ancient part of my life was called was centered around stephen gately.I was obsessed with him.but now im grown up and mature,thank you very much.(NO im still not obssesed about him anju!).
im not a very stable person.my mind is like a pendulam!i can never make it up.i've had as many ambitions as you've had socks.but right now im worried as of whats next.no girl,worry is bad..stop it!
erm......i really dont know what else to put up,dont worry you'll get to know me if i ever continue to blog on a regular basis..:)

cloverr

Cloverr, clover...they’re all the same..one just has an extra r.No big difference,really.clover is a leaf thingy which is vair vair popular in oireland and the four leaved type is supposed to bring good luck…clovers are a symbol of good luck. I’m not
sure if I bring good luck…you should ask the people who hang out with me…well I guess I don’t and I don’t really believe in good luck.If it’s meant to happen, good or bad, it will happen. Well I’m just your average girl who belongs in a normally abnormal family.And i'm not oirish.